All posts by johnesat3am


John and Mandi grab their rest stop candy bars and set fire to their pants for 2022’s GLORIOUS. After the loss of his love, a young man spends a self-destructive night burning his memories of the past. But when he awakens and runs into the nearby rest stop bathroom, he finds himself in a cosmic trap. Can he (and we) crawl through eldritch terror, raining blood, and the normal peril of just using a highway rest stop?


Mandi and John grab their flare guns and get their airplane tickets ready for 2020’s BLOODY HELL. After prison, a man decides to take a vacation to beautiful Helsinki. But when he awakens in a basement missing his leg, he must use every ounce of his wits to survive. Can he (and we) cut our way free of mask wearing twins, chewed on uncles and the house shaking might of Pati?


John and Mandi get 6 dollar muffins and put on their 5-point seatbelts for 2022’s DAY SHIFT. A divorced father tries to get money for his family the only way he knows how: killing vampires. But when he crosses an ambitious bloodsucker, it’s up to him to make sure his family stays safe no matter the cost. Can he (and we) contort our way through homicidal vampiric realtors, monster hunting bureaucracy, and just plain L.A. traffic? 


Mandi and John don their beekeeping hats and shut off the power at the box for 2022’s UMMA. When a mother living off the gird has a visitor from her past reenter her life, it’s all she can do to try to hold herself together. But when strange things start to happen, even affecting her daughter, she might not be able to hide any longer. Can she (and we) peddle our way through extreme dress combat, poultry pouncing nine tails and “No more wired lamps EVER!”?


John and Mandi get out their VCR and make space on the coffee table for 2016’s BEYOND THE GATES. When two estranged brothers find an old VHS board game in their missing father’s belongings, they think it’s nothing but a bit of harmless nostalgia. But when strange events start occurring, and the bodies begin to pile up, they might have to play to the end to survive. Can they (and we) fast forward though explosive intestines, cranial keyholes and massive daddy issues?


Mandi and John grab holy water filled squirt guns for 1996’s THE FRIGHTENERS. When mysterious deaths begin to plague a small town with a dark past, the only person with a clue is the town pariah and his spectral friends. But when a link is found to the killings of a long dead serial murderer, he might not be able to make it out of this scam alive. Can he (and we) haunt our way through creepy killer stabbings, annoying ex ex’s and lunatic feds?


John and Mandi put on chucks and break out the CD drive for 1992’s BRAINSCAN. A boy obsessed with horror searches and finds the next big thing in terror: a game where you live through the eyes of a killer. But when it stops being a game and the police begin to ask questions, it’s a race against time and the demonic entity from the disc to survive. Can he (and we) limp through creepy girls next door, playful foot stealing pups and the Trickster’s terrible wardrobe?


Mandi and John put on their wolf suits and grab some seam rippers for 2020’s THE WOLF OF SNOW HOLLOW. When murders being to pile up in a snowy Utah town, the over worked police officers being to have problems of a more personal nature. But as the murders become more gruesome, and the killer appears to be more then human, the sheriff and deputies are running out of options. Can they (and we) snowboard through slap happy coroners, killer sewing tools and some decent acting from the writer/director?


John and Mandi switch on their word processors and get ready to duck flying garden tools for 1986’s HOUSE. After his son disappears, a writer goes back to the home where it all happened to find closure and get a little writing done. But when strange things start to happen, he thinks the tales his aunt told him about this home are truer than he realized. Can he (and we) type through nosy neighbors, murderous marlins, and time displacing medicine cabinets?


Mandi and John put on their sexy Uncle Sam costumes and double fist some American Bohemian for 2020’s RE-ELECTED. A cabin in the woods, 5 unsuspecting college-ish students, someone reads from a document they weren’t supposed to… but this time, it’s ALL-AMERICAN BABY! Can our heroes survive a harrowing Fourth of July against an axe wielding George Washington, a musket firing Andrew Jackson, or a knife shanking Abe Lincoln?