John and Mandi gather all the sugar they can find and look at questionable property investments for 1977’s EMPIRE OF THE ANTS. Can they river boat their way through felonious Formicidae and their pheromonally fascinated Floridian friends? Or are they destined to work the sugar refinery for their insect overlords?
All posts by johnesat3am
EPISODE 190: THE GRAVEDANCERS (2006)
Mandi and John grab their most defensive statues and put on their dancing shoes for 2006’s THE GRAVEDANCERS. Can they boogie their way through sadistic smiling judges, pyro preteens and just terrible Sid energy?
EPISODE 189: UNKNOWN VISITOR (2019)
Mandi and John make many, many sandwiches and move them slightly on a table for 2019’s UNKNOWN VISITOR. A young woman with a traumatic past is plagued by terrible sounds in the middle of the night. She is helped by her friend with an equally traumatic past who assists her by installing a door camera that begins to catch some terrifying 3 a.m. happenings. Can they (and we) door-to-door our way through repeated solicitations, epically fast backyard grave digging and a teleporting dead body?
EPISODE 188: THE DEEPER YOU DIG (2020)
John and Mandi put on their winter clothes and jump in their blue plastic sleds for 2020’s THE DEEPER YOU DIG. A drunk driver hits a young girl, and in fear, murders her. But when she keeps talking to him, he begins to lose himself while the girl’s mother hunts him with her waning medium powers. Can she (and we) tarot though skull face sarcastic teens, constant leg sawing and a 1920’s soundtrack on repeat?
NEW EPISODE: PRIMAL RAGE (1988)
Mandi and John tape up their glasses and put on baboon protection for 1988’s PRIMAL RAGE. An experimental animal breaks loose at a Florida college, injuring a student before it is killed. Soon, the campus is stalked an enraged monster, slaying all in its way. Can the unsuspecting co-eds (and we) party our way through skeleton throat ripping, faucet face crushing and the creepiness of Lovejoy?
NEW EPISODE: RENFIELD (2023)
John and Mandi put on their snuggliest sweaters and grab their crunchiest insects for 2023’s RENFIELD. After being made the familiar of Dracula, a man feels like he’s just not getting any respect for what he does. When he starts to see his own worth, the King of Vampires feels personally affronted. Can Renfield (and we) self-affirm our way through killer corrupt cops, murderous mobsters and just plain unhealthy co-dependency?
NEW EPISODE: TERRIFIER 2 (2022)
Mandi and John put on angel cosplay and grab their ancestral swords for 2022’s TERRIFIER 2. One year after the Miles County Massacre, terror once again stalks the streets. As the body count begins to rise, a young woman will do everything she can to save her family. Can she (and we) angsty teen her way through horrifying clown dreams, multiple matricidal murders and clown whipping?
NEW EPISODE: EASTER BUNNY MASSACRE: THE BLOODY TRAIL (2023)
John and Mandi put on their Easter Bunny costumes and grab a pitcher of acid chocolate for 2023’s EASTER BUNNY MASSACRE: THE BLOODY TRAIL. A group of friends with a dark secret reunite for an Easter party. But when they receive a strange message from the dead, they’ll have to fight to survive. Can they (and we) hop our way through fake knife slashing, gratuitous flashbacks and just hearing Carla talk?
NEW EPISODE: THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE (2016)
Mandi and John, fresh from their engagement, grab their axes and put on PPE for 2016’s THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE. A father and son coroner team are working late when a strange body is brought in. After they try to autopsy it, violent supernatural terror is unleashed. Can they (and we) dissect our way through cat killing air ducts, ghost smoke, and face shot zombies?
NEW EPISODE: NIGHTMARE WEEKEND (1986)
John and Mandi hide their personal objects for 1986’s NIGHTMARE WEEKEND. A group of college students are given a weekend at a mansion, but little do they know that this is actually an experiment using a brilliant doctor’s creation and headed up by an unscrupulous businesswoman. Can they (and we) survive terrible 80’s fashion, proto-Phantasm balls, and A.I. puppets?